Feeds, Needs and Speeds

Well, it's starting to get real. The database, that is. As I posted earlier on Twitter, 200 rows of data in a single column do not a RDBMS make, but it's a start (the count is currently 224). As Jackie Gleason quipped in one of his signature lines, "And away we go!"

The casual reader may be wondering at this point: there are actually folks out there still building relational databases? Isn't the non-relational NoSQL model more popular in terms of new deployments, versatility and just plain coolness?

I'd like to explain a bit of my personal journey that brought me to Forty-Two, the database.

Long ago, like teenagers everywhere, I faced highschool graduation without a plan. Not just a clear plan, mind you- NO PLAN. Computer Science was in its infancy at the time, and nearly nonexistent in most high schools. I was not one of the cool kids, nor was I a jock or a brain, but I was also not a nerd. However, I knew one or two nerds. And the nerds were highly focused in their scholarly discipline: they were not into math and science; they were into math. They were geometry slingers, wearing leather slide rule holsters on their hips. They had glasses, thick glasses. Below average complexion. Few social skills. Pocket protectors in their left shirt pockets. And behind the pocket protectors... punch cards for their next "program".They were the late 70's analogues of Drs. Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Hofstadler (The Big Bang Theory).

I was not them. Well, sort of not like them. I liked history. I was (probably) the worst kind of history nerd: I was a military history buff. I started out with Avalon Hill games like France 1940 and Panzer Blitz, and progressed to Tobruk and Squad Leader, eventually culminating in the non-Avalon Hill classic Fletcher Pratt's Naval Wargame. The point is this: as the complexity increased, the playability decreased, as did the number of folks willing to take on the rules. But, I digress.

I was accepted to Rosary College (later Dominican University). I declared history as my major, and spent two unremarkable years there. I eventually had five colleges or universities under my belt, with no undergraduate degree to show for all of the buckazoids invested.

Long before this became a mainstream theory in education, I discovered that we do not all learn in the same way, and that higher education was not really the best choice for me.

Fast forward a few decades. I've mentioned this fairly recently- I was working as a data analyst at an "action sports" company. The company designed paintball equipment, and had it manufactured overseas. My job as the data analyst was to take Wal Mart RetailLink data and dice and slice it into what my employer could use.

The problem was my employer was using either Office 2000 or 2003, which limited Excel to a maximum of ~64K  (I believe it was 63,536) rows. As time went on, my data often exceeded this artificial limitation, and I was forced to use Access just to grab the Monday morning data. Once again, skipping several steps, I became adept at moving data between Excel and Access.

Fast forward one more time to today. I use all sorts of tools to do my job; Access and Excel aren't really part of my professional portfolio of commonly used programs on the job, but I use them at home,.. pause for effect.

Yes, although I may have mentioned a bit about Forty-Two before, I don't think I've said too much beyond it was my own little database dev world. Here's where the title comes in: way back when I was an I.T. reseller, we used to often qualify sales by talking about speeds and feeds- equipment specifications. Needs are also important (besides completing the alliterative trilogy).

So, Forty-Two is an obvious reference to Douglas Adams works, and is so named because its' goal is to answer that elusive question: what is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything. It is starting out life as an Access database, currently with only one table. Previous iterations have taught me to take it easy with adding tables, so my aim is to get this Titles table to be mostly complete before adding additional single- or very few-column tables and then finally starting to create the relationships.The first table is called Titles simply because it holds titles: books, videos, software... if its media, then its name goes here. Why? Forced normalization: why go through the normalization process when I can start out with a relatively clean dataset?

This is starting to turn into a wall of words (by my standards, anyway!), so stay tuned... Lego is next!

As always, I am hochspeyer, blogging data analysis and management so you don't have to.

Mind == Blown.

As mentioned in a previous blog, Quantum Leaping for non-physicists.html, I occasionally have issues with time. I could not be a Time Lord- for the record, Tom Baker was "my" Doctor. And also, for the record, I'm not a quantum physicist, although I enjoy both the Quantum Leap and The Big Bang Theory television series. Today, however, I felt more than just a twinge of sympathy with Quantum Leap's Dr. Sam Beckett- for a good thirty seconds, I actually lived his life. Here's what happened.

A few months ago, I had the misfortune of parking under some pine trees at work. As a result, Meerkat (our trusty Subaru Outback) acquired several globs of pine tar. For those unfamiliar with this substance, think of it as a very pleasant smelling substance, lighter than honey in color, but on an order or several times more viscous than said honey. Here's a formula for shear viscosity I found online-   Pretty cool- I don't have the foggiest notion what it means, but since I mentioned quantum physics, I figured I'd throw a bit of science out there, and see what sticks (*oh yes, pun truly intended).

Back to the story- we've only had Meerkat since April. The tar is on both glass and painted surfaces. As it was a cool day, Jennifer had suggested that I mow the lawn. I mowed the lawn, and then figured I had time to try to get the tar off of the car. I had some Bug and Tar remover in the garage, so I got it out, read the instructions and then tried it on the windshield. I didn't get all of the gunk off, but the product was several years old and had been stored in the garage. And as the Chicago area is not known for mild winters, I decided to get a new bottle. I asked Jennifer if she'd like to go to the auto parts store with me, and we could stop at Aldi afterwards (note to European readers: Aldi has stores in the United States). So, I changed clothes and we were off. It was near 1700- rush hour- and I was going to cross a busy street- two lanes northbound and two lanes southbound traffic. I could not believe our fortune- it took probably less than thirty seconds to cross the street! We went in to the auto parts store, purchased the bug and tar remover, and then were off to Aldi. As we strolled down the first aisle of Aldi... I don't recall exactly how the topic came up, but it did: somehow, in an instant, my brain turned into Dr. Sam Beckett's Swiss-cheese-right-after-a-leap brain.

It was Sunday, not Monday.

Now, I've mentioned before- and probably more than once- that I often will ask Jennifer what day it is. This, however, was the first time that I've gone through the day believing that it was a weekday rather than a weekend day. Jennifer found the whole affair quite amusing, and in retrospect I suppose it was. But for me, the thirty seconds or so after that revelation were disorienting- it weirded me out more than a little, to be completely honest. Scoring an extra twenty-four hours is cool, to be certain. But- and this is a big "but"- my reality changed. Not in a bad way... more like an odd, momentary lapse into the indescribable... I was in The Twilight Zone. Not Golden Earring's Twilight Zone. Rod Serlings' black and white Twilight Zone. And I couldn't change the channel.

I've got nothing else. The memory of the event already has developed that soft patina that time is kind enough to paint onto events such as this. On the plus side, there's no lightning bolt scar on my forehead.

Before I forget: some small news on the I.T. front. Not really data related, but this past Monday I got to actually do some programming at work: I got to run a job, start to finish. This made me quite happy, as my nights are generally filled with doing all sorts of important stuff, but most of which has little to do with my actual title!

As always, I am hochspeyer, blogging data analysis and management so you don't have to.